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Minx

By Maggie Adams

Hi! I'm Miranda Blake, a soon-to-be-fifty, newly divorced, slightly overweight, completely klutzy mom of two adult children. I still believe in fairytales but mine are slightly twisted. In fairytales, the princess was usually helped by giving, compassionate companions of the animal variety for some reason. You would never see me anywhere near raccoons, squirrels, or–shudders–birds. I’d seen the movies. I knew the death tolls. Actually, no, I wasn’t like them because I had friends, not minions, to do my bidding. The kind that believed if life gave you lemons…well, you’ve heard the saying. Although, one of them would make a lovely lemon pound cake served with the appropriate tea and a dollop of exquisite whipped cream. While another would grab the tequila and salt and make margaritas. Yet another would slice the lemons right open, squirt her enemies in the eye as she growled and screamed, “Die, motherfucker!” And finally, my peace-loving friend would make cannabis lemon bars and pass them around with a smile while a hint of patchouli clung to her caftan. I’d simply add them to my water to counter any vitamin C deficiency and continue with my day. As to the prince-well, as all good fairytales begin, Once upon a time...